Working with fear and fear-based aggression (Part 2)

Tool #3: Using fear as trigger for fearlessness

Chogyam Trungpa, the Tibetan Buddhist teacher, once said that we can use fear as the kindling to build up a big fire of fearlessness. Consider this idea. This puts an entirely different complexion on fear itself. This means actually acting courageously, without really giving fear any more than its due. So, then, what sort of attention should be given to fear? Being mindful that it is there, and knowing that it can be used to pave a pathway for fearlessness. This appears to be its only real purpose. Such a re-framing of fear can change one’s relationship to fear, particularly if fear is a chronic part of one’s subjective experience.

Tool #4: Using impermanence to work with fear (in conjunction with mindfulness)

There is something fascinating about being able to see fear, and realize that it is actually simply based on habit. It is exhilarating to recognize that it isn’t really true, not in the sense that consciousness is true or awareness is true. The fact that ‘I am’ is something that is inescapable, but fear needn’t be.

Now, one of the ideas implicit in my work with the fear inside me, is the idea of impermanence. To consider that everything in life is impermanent is wisdom. To consider that every single high and low that I have been facing here is in fact not going to last, simply because impermanence is the truth of life, is in fact wisdom. To act with a clear recognition and an application of this wisdom is wise action. To be cognizant of this wisdom, and to act in opposition to it or at variation with it, is making one’s own wisdom impotent, in a manner of speaking. This is unwise action. Now, the idea of actually using fear as a prod to take action in the direction of diminishing it - this is a very practical goal. 

Using different tools to work with fear-based aggression

Fear often manifests in the form of aggression. Aggression is based on the mistaken assumption that others are in fact others, rather than extensions of myself. It is also based on ignoring the fundamental rule that as you are within, so is the world without. So, when such is the case, treating this aggression just as it should be, is what I intend to do. Essentially, given that the Buddha (or perhaps based on his teachings another Buddhist teacher; certainly the Tibetan Buddhists say it) says that all neurotic emotions are in the nature of fear, then aggression is also in the nature of fear. When such is the case, being mindful, and friendly to one’s own aggression, without either saying “Yes, sir!” (i.e., believing the thoughts engendered by aggression) or “Get out!” (i.e., trying to get rid of the aggression)  is the most skillful way to manage this aggression. (I would like to direct the reader to Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche’s directions on working with panic, in order to gain a deeper understanding of the method being discussed here.)

I am sensing that I can actually climb up this hill of aggression into a much more facile mental state through the use of mindfulness. It isn’t perfect, but what I have found is that when the sensation of intense aggression shows up, I remind myself of the mistaken assumptions therein, and I sense that the need to act on one’s own aggression usually is based on the idea that I have been slighted. The I has been slighted.

Here’s a common urban example that may illustrate what I’ve been discussing theoretically thus far. Someone is approaching me on the sidewalk, and they have a frosty stare and are hogging the entire sidewalk (from my viewpoint at any rate). By replacing a thought of aggression with the idea that my awareness contains a lot more than just what is happening on the sidewalk, and by asserting a powerful space into this aggressive state, and recognizing that aggression is based on making the person other, I am able to take away too much self absorption. If I were to add the idea of metta (a Pali term that is usually translated as loving-kindness) to my consciousness at this point, the process would be much more effective. (I won’t expand on metta here, because I will be discussing it in detail in later essays. If the reader is interested, I recommend the teachings of Sharon Salzberg and of Ajahn Sona on this topic.) To return to the example on the sidewalk, I can take the most effective action when freed up from the energy of aggression. Almost always, the smartest thing to do when you’re faced with a sidewalk hog, is to step aside nimbly, with a mental note to hope they get well soon (since they are ailed by this very self absorption that mindfulness has helped you side step). If this isn’t an option, then you always have the option of smiling, and talking to the other person.