Vigilance, neutral states and metta practice

I’m continuing my study of Buddhism. There’s no question in my mind that the only reason I know and have studied Dharma to whatever extent I have, is solely because I’ve had “problems”. These problems are labeled thus only because my experience with respect to them is suffering. The specific flavor of the suffering isn’t primary. What is primary is the fact that it feels bad. Now, Ajahn Sona offers valuable reminders on the fact that there isn’t much or even any value in spending time going through classical Western psychotherapy, unless there are special considerations. Generally speaking though, searching for the origin of one’s neurotic thoughts/feelings in one’s life story - this isn’t as useful and may even be counterproductive. Instead, cultivating qualities like metta, karuna, mudita and upeksha - this is the way forward.

The key here appears to be using vigilance, born of mindfulness, to carefully take the first steps towards one of these four immeasurable states of mind, instead of neurotic alternatives. It seems to me that there is no reason to relentlessly search for tools to replace neurotic thoughts when they are amplified. Instead, it is more valuable to set up a mental practice where vigilance becomes a mental habit when in intermediate states (where the mind is neutral). At the end of a given activity, for example, the mind reaches neutral again. To be incredibly alert and mindful then and there appears to be a huge part of the method.

Now, the sensation of inspiration at this point in time can be valuable. This has been a part of the challenge here. I suspect that I could use the housecleaning principle here. Imagine cleaning up and organizing instead of pursuing escape and self-soothing. Action interspersed with visualization may be useful here.

The fact that the consciousness is flexible enough to stretch past all challenges is a very valuable reminder here. Just one step at a time does it!